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The amount of parenting books available is overwhelming. It’s hard to weed through all the different parenting styles that you don’t relate to and the deceiving titles for the books that just don’t turn out how you expect them to be. I’ve spent countless hours reading parenting books, and will spend countless more as my little man grows up.
When I started thinking about having a family, I knew how I wanted to parent my children. I didn’t want my children to fear me. I wanted to be a person my children came to when they had a problem. I wanted them to trust that I was always going to do what I said I would, all the time. I wanted to be there with them through their problems and help them through them, not continuously punish for mistakes. I didn’t realize there was actually a name for this method of parenting until I started reading parenting books.
If this sounds anything like the way you’d like to parent your children, I’ve compiled a list of books that helped me find my way into positive parenting. A lot of these books have have practical implications on how to handle your child’s emotions in a healthy way for you both.
1. The Whole Brain Child
This book takes you deep into the mind of a toddler/child and how they manage their big emotions. If you’re a psychology buff or enjoy understanding how the mind works, this is a wonderfully insightful read. I minored in psychology for my undergrad and this book speaks to me on a whole different level. It is very conceptual, but allows you to understand how to bring your child back down from one of those sky high tantrums. How can someone get so upset over pancakes for breakfast instead of waffles?
The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind
The concepts Siegel and Bryson present teach you how to lovingly guide your child back to a calm state where they can make rational decisions and compromises. Through these concepts, you acknowledge your child’s feelings and help them present those feelings in a more acceptable manner.
2. No Drama Discipline
I love love love this book. My husband loved it, my mom friends loved it, and the reviews are great. It is a GREAT book. I’ve actually read this one several times as my son gets further into toddlerhood. This book is by the same authors as Whole Brain Child, but I find this one to be more about the application of the concepts. If there’s any book you read about trying to get through life with a toddler, it is this one.
No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind
3. 5 Love Languages for Children
I found this book by just skimming through my Kindle for something new to read. This book is actually on my read again list, along with a list for my husband to read. For older children, this helps you decode what your child’s love language is to help your connection with them and love them in the way that they truly feel loved. The book notes that for children under 4 their desired love language is likely not fully apparent. I still found this book helpful for myself with my toddler to start to decode his love language.
5 Love Languages Of Children: The Secret To Loving Children Effectively
If you’re not familiar with the 5 love languages, this is a great introduction and can actually be applicable in other relationships outside of the relationships you have with your children. If you’re already familiar with the love languages, this book will help you see how to apply them to your children. As you already know, the relationships you have with your children are different than any other relationship you’ll ever have.
4. The Montessori Toddler
While the Montessori method and positive or gentle parenting aren’t the same, there are a few similarities in methods that make this book worth reading even if you aren’t going the Montessori route. Before having my son, I heard of Montessori schools and honestly the first thought that came to mind by the name was “expensive.” I didn’t put much more thought into it until I realized some parenting opinions I have and toys I favor were Montessori based.
The Montessori Toddler: A Parent’s Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being
The Montessori method has a lot to do with giving your child the independence to explore the world around them and learn new skills. When we’re constantly telling our children “no,” we’re squashing that ability. That’s where the connection with positive parenting comes into play. By trusting your child to explore on their own (safely), you’re building their self-confidence and saving yourself a lot of frustration.
As a mom of a growing toddler, I’m constantly looking for new books to fit my child’s newest stage. I chose these books as I felt they were the best for whatever stage your young children are in. Even if you haven’t started off your parenting journey with gentle parenting, it’s never too late to rethink your approach. While our children are growing, we’re growing too. We have the ability at any moment to decide we want to change. If you feel more often than not that you’re losing your composure and aren’t the parent you aspired to be, pick up one (or a few) of these books! Let me know your thoughts on them in the comments!
